I rarely ever make New Year’s Resolutions but this year perhaps a few would be OK as long as there is a healthy dose of humor. I hope that everyone has a wonderful celebration and upcoming year – see some of you at the Boomerang’s for the plunge. Here are some of my draft resolutions:
Don’t Drink and Blog. How is it that I can have this really wonderful day and two drinks later somebody sends a really stupid email and then the Gates of Heck are opened up? I really need to control those urges, such as maybe with Tango dancing or something.
Forget about Running for Alderman. Lori and I have both considered some very nice innuendoes from some very nice folks, asking us to run for office. After careful consideration, we think that neither of us would be good for the health, safety, and welfare of the good residents of
Think about Quitting the Smokes. Now the dentist is on my tail in addition to the clinic doctor and about 75 percent of the citizens. I really do think about giving it up, as I am horribly addicted to Camel straights. Maybe I need to make the trip to Matamoros for memory pills and Viagra instead of the usual cigs and booze.
Start Catching More Fish. I hate to say it, but I caught more fish up in
Grow Some Home-Grown Tomatoes. My ‘mater crop this year was worse than pitiful. I had ants, cutworms, fungus, and probably nematodes as well – I got exactly two and the Mockingbirds were already working on them. My new friend Don says he’ll share some secrets, which involves planting some fish (see above) in the ground for fertilizer and then grow the seeds right in the soil (what soil, Don?).
Become an Ornery Ole Semi-Retired Grump. Naw, we have too much pizzazz for that! We’ll be having dim sum parties for the Chinese New Year before you know it. Just don’t call it “dim Sam,” okay?
Have a good one, y’all.