This in an Emergency Broadcast

For all the disaster planning and recent events around the world - from hurricanes in Burma to earthquakes in China - the US is no better prepared than ever in its history. According to numbers reported in the Washington Post, 93% of us don't have a clue about what to do in a natural disaster. As hurricane season approaches, perhaps it's a timely subject.

I will say that Texas has made some strides, although mainly in the field of top-down command control and how to work the evacuation highways. Incredulously, the Department of Homeland Security insists upon customs inspections not only at the check stations such as Sarita and Falfurrias, but the evacuation centers, buses, and collection areas as well. What a bunch of proverbial turds.

There is some good advice out there, although most of the effort is on policing. The typical response (and no offense intended to Clifford) is to motivate people to leave ... or make them put on a toe tags "so we can ID your crab infested body." I think we can do better than that.

In general we're talking about two types of tropical cyclones and hurricanes. The first is the type that is tracked for days if not weeks before a storm gets within 500 miles. This gives you lots of time to make arrangements, pack those special things that could be lost, and beat the traffic. A single mention of a hurricane in the Gulf can empty about SPI tourists in a heartbeat, with some locals to follow. Hurricane Dean is a classic example.

The second type are very fast, compact hurricanes that can blow up within a space of 24 hours. Humberto was such an example of a storm that was never predicted (well, I did but who cares). For this the strategy is what's called a "ditch bag" just like a survival kits when you go out to sea on a boat. You grab the ditch bag that has all your important papers, medications, and some useful stuff like Granola bars and Charmin, throw it in the car, and boogie.

Now I've been around the Island long enough to know that even in small storms like Emily (2005, just after moving down here permanently), Islanders will wait until the wind actually starts blowing hard before putting up shutters and plywood ... and maybe hitting the liquor store, get some groceries, and the going to the bank as an afterthought. If the storm looks like Category 2-3 or less, or a likely miss, this Island is known for some outrageous hurricane parties. Jimmy Buffet music blares and the margarita machine is fired up. Some bars have been known to have a "keg emptying party" for the locals to celebrate the event. I have to say that mooning the Weather Channel TV crew was a high point of my life (take THIS, Jim Cantore!).

I know, that sends the wrong message but I think the Islanders know the drill fairly well and just need to be reminded about that "ditch bag" and some simple precautions. I hope some public friendly gatherings can help drive the point home ... one idea was to have a party and hand out or sell waterproof bags with a waterproof zipper with maybe an advertisement on one side and a checklist of things to do on the other. Make it some cool events and opposed to the usual smack talk by burly cops and frightening weather weenies.

And folks, if we get a one of the rare storms that form only 100 miles offshore, just forget the computer stuff and Aunt May's tea set. Grab the bag and go!

Aransas Pass and WiFi

There's a big brouhaha going on about a kind of wireless computer connectivity known as WiFi, since many people want it here on SPI. I originally supported the concept when Fred Mallet brought it up several years ago. Since then, not much has progressed about WiFi here and Fred moved to Aransas Pass.

Aransas Pass does not have municipal WiFi.

Now this is interesting because I have a serious case of "Aransas Pass Envy." Their park system is incredible and they put on a sand castle festival that is five times better than ours. Their marinas are really something, with lots of beach, bay, and offshore access. The beach might not be as nice as SPI but on just about every other account, for the same-sized town they have us beat, hands down.

So why did they not get municipal WiFi?

I don't have the luxury of having any exact reasons, town council discussions, or whatever but their Chamber of Commerce and other town links heavily promotes private WiFi as a tourist benefit and as a key strategy. Condos, rentals, restaurants, and bars heavily promote WiFi access. Once again, I'm getting a serious case of Aransas Pass Envy.

At least this isn't a boondoggle like the second causeway to SPI that would cost in numbers of hundreds of millions. But our Banana Republic political mentality sometimes leads to some very strange outcomes, such as rejecting ferry service (Aransas Pass, check), or municipal WiFi (not).

My point all along is that I support municipal WiFi but I wanted the budget numbers. None are available, and I'm starting to wonder if this is something that should be better done by private enterprise and not our Town. I'd rather invest in infrastructure, such as ... well we do have one public restroom to serve 5 miles of beach, I guess. Sometimes I worry about this place.

Second Causeway, A Boondoggle?

Recently there has been a big push for a second causeway on the north side of the Island. The traffic volumes don't support it right now and the Town's "position paper" is riddled with faulty conclusions and misleading assumptions. To be clear, I'd like to see a second causeway but the way we're doing it is all wrong, wrong, wrong.

The people who want a second causeway more than any other group are the developers of expensive condo property on the north side. They don't give a damn about hurricane evacuations, health, and all those silly justifications ... and to the buyers, paying five to ten bucks for the tollway to avoid the gruesome Padre Boulevard while speeding in luxury cars is appealing. Last I checked only one large condo tower was going up - if it doesn't fall down because it's leaning, or at least the garage already is. Simply stated, nobody lives up there now except a few coyotes and birds.

I'm certainly not paying big bucks like that and our friendly Winter Texans and Valley residents aren't either. Like the last Texas Legislature dictated, we're tired of all these tollways and want them stopped. Yet down here in La-La Land we think that's exactly the way to go, with a regional authority that has no representation from SPI. Folks, this is way out of control and signing some petition you don't understand is sheer stupidity. Of course we support a second causeway! It is all in how it gets done in the details.

It's a great reason to elect a new Governor because with Perry in place, such madness will continue amongst the Republican profiteers. And if you think a bridge twice as long as the Queen Isabella Causeway will only cost a hundred million, dream on teenage queen. Williams, Zachary, and others will gladly double or triple the price for you by the time the project is actually let out for bid in maybe five years.

I'm not that gullible and I'm fighting against the SOB right now, as is proposed.

Aftermath

It was a big Saturday on the sand spit. On Sunday morning the island is very quiet, some possibly nursing varying degrees of a hangover … or just being Sunday morning quiet. It is completely becalmed and you can hear birds for miles, or a loud motorcycle going over the causeway.

The election was a big deal, with Bob Pinkerton, JoAnn Evans, and Rick Ridolfi winning by large margins. Jake threw a big election party with free booze and a band. Congratulations to all the contenders and the winners. I wonder if other towns have so much fun just for voting?

From Jake’s we motored up Gulf Boulevard to the Wanna, which was being rocked by the Bongo Dogs. They were in fine form and yes, I was their star Frog Player once again. Everything was going very well until a lady in a red dress did an incredible back-flip into the musicians. It looked painful but she recovered after revealing that she obviously wasn’t wearing any panties, which didn’t seem to bother anyone. She could have been electrocuted. All seemed OK.

Except for Cathy’s trombone.

I didn’t know until the close of the last song that the lady in red had bent Cathy’s trombone, right in that part that slides back and forth. I was wondering why Cathy started looking cross-eyed in those last few songs. David her husband told me “well yeah she’s pissed, she broke her ax!” I hope it can be rescued.

Otherwise it was a wonderful evening although we had to navigate carefully on the way home because of all the midnight traffic. I don’t recall it being so busy in the weeks just before Memorial Day.

Lucky with the camera today

Aye, see the umbrellas, inviting surf, and really cool sand castle done by grand master Sandy Feet? We bombed in on one of those political things today at Wanna Wanna and had a wonderful time. It was very fun and thanks to all, including a guy named Jeff (hope I remembered right) who is the new Wanna manager. Rick, Bob, and JoAnn are running for office and today this was very fun. Below, and aside from my bean-pole friend Chas topping over 6-foot five, are the girls assembled in "power mode."



From the left, that's Nancy with her turtle proclamation and yes Turtle Week is coming up soon. World champion Sandy Feet is in pink next, and Ann is looking great. Next to Bean Pole Chas is Diane of slight build but an excellent yoga teacher and a jewelry maker like her husband standing there. Gosh I wish they let men watch them work out. And Stephanie on the far right is giving us a look that is just priceless. It's kind of like "hey you California chicks who think you're hip, don't mess with us." Naw, I made that up ... but that's a bunch of my favorites in that picture. Below, I took one more just wanting a field shot of the beach.




As you can see the volleyball freaks were at it pretty hard - or hardly playing - but everyone was having fun. Nice party and afternoon on the beach.

'Splain this, Kirk!

Before I got my master's degree I was an English major at UT-Austin took lots of classes or stuff like linguistics, technical writing, and rhetoric. So imagine my confusion and consternation today when I read a political advertisement by Kirk Mills, who is running for Mayor of our humble town of SPI. First he writes:

"I keep reading in the Mayor's advertisements that he has all the contacts in Austin and Washington D.C. - this a a shame because what it shows is a complete failure ..."

This ends with a horrible run-on sentence of horrible composition that completely lost me. Perhaps Kirk is jealous or something, but let's let it stand. The real zinger comes a few sentences later when says he has close ties with Dr. Tara Rios Ybarra, "our new State Representative," which he helped elect with lots of cash and political gamesmanship.

So let's see here, current Mayor Bob Pinkerton can work the lobbies and committees and agencies and that is bad, but putting money on an untested freshman state rep is good? People who know about logic, rhetoric, and debating know better. A direct & clear contradiction!

Sheesh, that's like saying you're against all drugs while smoking a big ole fat marijuana doobie. My purpose is not to slam the good man, but point out that that's some horrible writing. One wonders if 17 years of law practice in the Valley has improved his ability to communicate effectively.

You have to read a bunch into the advertisement to really understand what is going on, since without the clarity the motivation can only be suspect. Early on, Kirk presents a message for "a new generation" of leaders and a very Obama-like message of "your choice for change." This seems strange because while the Town Mayor doesn't please all people all the time, and surely has made a few enemies, he rarely ever votes except in a tie. What changes does he mean? Expanding the travel budget so that three or four people have to go to Austin or Washington on a juggernaut trip when only one or two are needed? I must confess you cannot learn that from the words written in the recent issue of the Island Breeze.

Kirk might well turn out to become a good mayor after a year or two and that is not my argument. My argument is all about really crappy writing. Thank goodness I can see the humor and satire in it ... not that I would ever compare myself to literary geniuses such as Mark Twain, Ambrose Bierce, H.L. Mencken, William Faulkner, or Earnest Hemingway.

Five Stinking Years

On May Day 2003 President Bush held a news conference on the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln to say that we had won the war in Iraq. Behind him was a poster flag claiming "Mission Accomplished."

You know all the gory details about how that didn't work, but let's just say May 1 is President Bush's least favorite day of the year. He simply can't put a positive media spin on it other than "stay the course."

If you want to know the truth, the entire event on May 1, 2003 was a staged affair. The aircraft carrier had to go out 40 miles to sea off Los Angeles because the handlers didn't want media shots of the LA mountains in the background. The "Mission Accomplished" banner is even more mysterious, not planted by the crew of the Abraham Lincoln ... or supposedly the White House. The latest spin is that the banner was meant for the aircraft carrier's crew, which I guess accomplished something by having a Presidential media release on their flight deck.

Ahem.

I used to love May Day even when there were bad stories about parading commies with armed rockets during the Cold War. But it was supposed to be a spring thing with may poles and fun. Now I feel ripped off.