Saturday, February 18, 2006

The Medium Speaks

That’s me conjuring up a big ole sea trout there, maybe 30 inches. It feels good being the Island Medium. Yup, the Board of Aldermen voted 4 to 1 for the Medium and I feel great. I might need some advice from Raybo about how to fulfill all my various and sundry duties, but I think it was high time we got a Medium in this town. I’m a little nervous, like if I run into some weird transmogrified freaks like Hoteb or something, and channeling isn’t my biggest strength excepting if it involves a dredge barge, but hey, I feel good providing for a needed public service.

Now some people they just don’t like mediums. I mean, one Alderman voted against me and there’s a whole business group formed to get rid of all mediums like me. Imagine that! They even took a full-page ad in the local paper saying how mediums could harm business, block emergency vehicles, scare the citizens, and generally run amok. And here’s the strange part – they did this AFTER the vote.

And you know, one of my first tasks as Island Medium I tried reaching out to these people like getting into their minds but there wasn’t nothing except for a big stinking black hole. I’ll never do that again; I tell you it was scary. If there are 20 I can’t fathom spiritually, well, I got about 2,000 others to try to do some good. Public service is all about reaching out to the greatest common benefit, right? Did I mention I do this service for free?

I just don’t know what some folks have against mediums.

Medians? You have to be kidding!


Lucinda said...

Sam, I don't think you qualify as a medium. You are a rare bird, certainly. And your blog is well done.

Actually, midway between rare and well-done is....

never mind.

Sam said...

Alas, I'm afraid you're right, Cinda. I'm more psychotic than psychic. Hey anyone out there know about psycho-kineseology?