Sunday, November 20, 2005

The Long and Short of It

Well I made it to November 17th before I needed long pants this year. That’s not too bad, but I sure hate wearing long britches. I suppose I’m still in denial because I can’t wear shoes – so sandals it is. Compared to the summer, folks, pants and shoes really suck.

I remember going to my first public meeting here on the Island and the dress code was a Hawaiian shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. I was terrified, since I was all slicked up like a preppie – heck, I even shaved for a change (I draw the line a men’s foo-foo though). So I came home, happy I could ditch the pants forever.

On the sandals I recall flying up to Connecticut one year, completely forgetting it might be rather cold around Christmas time. Now these folks don’t wear sandals in the winter, and were very concerned about my sanity. They had boots, galoshes, designer L.L. Bean shoes, hunting boots, work boots, and 15-pound mud stompers, but not a sandal in sight. Hey, it didn’t matter to me once you learned the art of how to slide on slush, snow, and ice. My feet were just fine by the way, with no frostbite amputations needed. Nope, I didn’t even notice.

But pants? I mentioned this to my buddy Captain Randy who was also at a meeting wearing long dungarees. He looked down with disgust. “Yeah pants, I hate ‘em. By the weekend I’ll be back in my shorts.” Then two more cool fronts came down with temperatures in the 50’s to 60’s with a 30-knot wind and cold rain and the Captain and I are pretty much fuming by now. I didn’t have the nerve to tell the Captain that when the temperatures get much over 50, the Yankees all put on shorts.

Pants!

6 comments:

Everett said...

What a bunch of old southern chickens!! Pants? You are REALLY wearing pants in 50-60 degree weather? sheesh, I've never seen anybody do that! I may be old and foolish though, as I am STILL wearing shorts and deck shoes up here! And I do get a lot of comments about, " hey did you forget to put your pants on this morning"? But those are from people who are mostly transplants from warmer climes. Yeah Sam you hit right on an obsession of mine to. I hate wearing long pants, but when I was a kid you would never have caught me in shorts or knickers as they were called back then. There is a guy here who calls my attire, 'Nantucket Nut Coolers"! True, but comfortable. Patagonia 'Baggies' being the item of choice! So come on, get those long pants back into storage until the weather approaches something we might call 'cool' up here. You know, about 25-30? ;.) Long Pants? PHuuu!

Char said...

I feel your pain. I remember being down there one year and actually had to turn the heat up. That was a downer.
Now here in Colorado, we have a great fashion statement--ski jackets with shorts--cold in the morning, warm by the afternoon. It looks so normal to me, but, I'm sure others would find it odd.

See, Sam, what I'm getting at is starting your own fashion trend. Stay warm!!!
Char

Sam said...

Alright, you guys win! But you ought to see me in my winter surf suit, well, except for the beer belly behind the muscle-man shirt. Hey, you get to near 50 and sometimes things go kaflooie.

I got winter surfing shorts, or as Everett says a "Nantucket Nut Warmer!" I couldn't stand that 1-3 millimeter space age stuff down to my ankles. The only thing I need to work on is the shirt. See, Mr. Muscle Man let's that cold water hit up your armpits. So I'm getting the short sleeved shirt design, with better armpit and boobie protection.

I mean, anything below 68 degrees and it can be quite a shock. You should have seen Lori and I try on those full-length wetsuits with the zipper up the back (over $200 may I add). We made the mistake of having a beer before heading over to the shop.

So I tried to get one leg and one arm in the darn thing and said "fooey." The fella behind the register said it was OK.

Then I hear this mewing, like a cat. "Please. Please. Please Sam I could use some help over here? Oh God!" It got louder so I headed to the girl's changing room.

So there was my wife, sweating, all red, and about to pass out, with one arm pointed straight up and the other stuck somewhere straight down. Lordy, Lordy, how did you do that, Miss Lori?

Only a woman could give an evil look like that.

Soooo, that's how we got the cool, two-piece winter surfing shorts and tops!

Everett said...

Being the age that I am and having acquired the "rotundity" that came with it, I have to tell you this quickie. I had bought one of those one piece surfer/diver wetsuits when I first got into the diving thing. So on good days I would put it on with the mask and flippers and go paddling around Trims Pond, you know up in behind the Beachead etc. One time I decided to go all the way out to the channel behind Deadeyes. By the time I got there I was in need of a short time out, so I 'hauled out' on the rocks right behind Deadeyes/Smugglers and I'm laying there in the sun getting warmed up. All of a sudden I hear this kid screaming, 'Hey Mom come here quick and look, there is a big seal laying on the rocks"! Hearing that, I did my best seal imitation and rolled/slid off into the water with my mask and made my humiliated way back upstream to my truck! Little smart ass, ruined my whole day!TIFN

Sam said...

That takes me WAAAAYYY back, Everett, and thanks for the memories. No, not the seal thing (poor fella!) but when it was stinking hot we'd get off work from the 'Gannsett or Dead-Eyes lunch shift and jump off the old wharf into the channel by the Hog Pen. Somebody had some fins and snorkels so we cruised up Trimms Pond for a while. Crabs, lobsters, fish, and crystal clear water at high tide. Scallops - I haven't seem those in years. But let me tell you, those oyster shells and barnacles were sharp! I'm quite proud of those old "war injuries."
/s

Ex-Manissean said...

Thats a funny story Everett, better being called a seal than a walrus. I used to snorkel around the boat club where there is/was a large underwater bottle dump. The salt water gives the antique bottles a frosty appearance, like beach glass.