Thursday, April 09, 2009

A Message from the Sturgeon General

Gulf of Mexico Sturgeon
"The General"

It turns out there are sturgeon in the Gulf of Mexico, although mainly from the Pearl River in Louisiana to the Florida Panhandle including the Suwanee. I had heard about it but I even found an official-looking USGS/Florida shebang about 'em. My brother in coastal Mississippi probably has 'em and doesn't even know it (hint - up the Pascagoula River). Sometimes I wonder if there were any in the Rio Grand watershed, as I know they like freshwater too. I love this quote: "Gulf sturgeon can jump six feet out of the water."

Not bad for a little old dinosaur.

Y'all remember the stories about boaters being struck by jumping sturgeon, especially those in personal watercraft. Heck we could ranch 'em down here, especially if they cleaned up the Arroyo Colorado. Only a crazy Texas Yankee would ever think about ranching sturgeons.

Why, all they do is munch and jump, mate once a year "like the sound of a creaking door," are extinct and on the endangered list, and you're not even supposed to eat caviar. Sheesh. But think about it, if you ranch your sturgeons right, they'll always come home for dinner just like little cow doggies. Why, I imagine some would even get names like "Ranger" and "Howie" and "Missy."

And what a picture that would be, YOU feeding some ancient dinosaur fish with huge nose hairs and really big sucker lips, built like an armored tank. I bet people would line up for miles and miles. Why a little bar would be nice, just like that famous bar in Florida that has hundreds of tarpon trolling for food scraps ... and the tourists go nuts, love it. Heck man, we only got the hardhead catfish that swarm behind Louie's. Let's get some class and pizazz down here!

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