Real Estate Beige

Lord, I have a confesion to make. I thought I would never do this, but our realtor we have to sell out house in Austin suggested that "the house will sell easy" if we painted it beige. All over, inside and out. No accents colors, maybe a wee little white trim. That's what sells.

So on her recommendation, I go down to the local Monarch paint store, the cheapest crap you can get, and buy a few five-gallon buckets of Model Home Beige. If you buy Monarch, this color is called "Summertime," its only saving grace. Summertime! It is about 70 bucks for a big huge pail but I weasled a contractor's discount - probably because he felt bad about me. "Oh, man, dude, lemme see if I can do discount something for ya here." Wink, wink. I think I lost a little soul just then.

So nobody says this kind of thing but if you paint a lot of ceilings and walls, you're basically wearing a lot of that lovely shade of beige. I think I actually ate some of the stuff. It was all in my hair, too. You've heard of "Burning Man" and other wierdness, but I became "Beige Man." How does that paint get in places like THAT?

I'll have to admit, it took some real hard work some cover over the interesting colors I had before, like minty, purple-ish, pecan brown, scarlet red, and some "antique" white that was basically recycled latex from whatever - antique means lots and lots of yellow, I think. Not sure. It's brand new beige now.

Hey, it covered up the dirt and smelled good, everything a realtor could want. I just can't wait to be over Summertime and move down to South Padre. Give me some colors. Happy Semana Santa, y'all! Happy Easter.