Lots of Feral Cats

Yes, we have outside cats and feral cats. It’s against the ordinances, like you have to keep them inside or on a leash. How ridiculous, we’re allergic as hell to cats and come on, a leash? But we always adopt one or two and get them all neutered and fixed up by the vet.

It was getting a little out of hand … I suppose cats have been hanging out here since 1970. So I called the Town and got one of those traps. The scruffy yellow cats needed a visit to the vet real bad – and hopefully a new home.

Now we had adopted a neutered male named Al, and he’s real dumb. Dumb as dirt. We caught him every night. There he’d be in the morning, licking his paws and asking to come out for a pat and a pee. F-ing Al is what we call him now.

The local Town guy who does the traps said that if you feed the cats, they’re yours. I tried to argue but that’s silly – do those possum belong to me too? How about the feral dogs and coy dogs? Jeez, all we do is make the cats fat so they won’t eat all the birds.

Come inside, Miss Pit Bull might have something to say! But on our walks, the cats dutifully follow us up and down the road like a parade. Al and the dogs sniff each other’s dookie and it is quite a sight, as we steer them to the “safe havens” of empty lots so some whacko redneck won’t call the cops for shitting in public. It is quite a challenge, all this.

Thursday 5/4 - Here's F'ing Al, who of course schnubbed me for a face picture. Instead he did a face plant in the chow. Cats!