The Mya

Here's Ted Kennedy single-handing a 60 foot schooner called the 'Mya.' He was an expert at doing this, and while he loved taking family and friends offshore for a sail, he basically did it all despite a crippling injury he had in 1996. I don't know if the Mya was an Alden design or some other racing schooner design, but she was a fast girl and Ted Kennedy was one of the fastest sailors. I could only drool about possessing such a boat down here on SPI.

You know, I don't care what in the cotton patch you think about Ted Kennedy and his brand of politics. Go tell it on the mountain. But anyone who could single-hand a two-masted sailboat with five sails, wow, this guy was good. I can almost see the man putting the autopilot on two points lee of the wind and cranking up the main, then the fore, then the staysail, and if it's not too windy, the jib. Ahhh, turn off the pooter diesel and set the lines just so.

Very few people can even attempt to do this, although I think I could give it a whirl because I grew up on sailboats. Not that I ever had a million dollar sailboat. You have to give credit to Ted Kennedy because he could handle 20 lines all by himself to win or place in a sailboat race.

Like a punk kid like me, Ted was always in the shadow of his brothers like John and Robert, who were both assassinated by retarded redneck assholes. But nobody shot poor Ted (although the hatred exists even today), and thus the legacy of the Mya continues today. Last I heard, one of the family hauled up the American flag halfway up the main halyard of the Mya, just as they would do a century ago. The poor Mya has nobody to love her anymore, something I find quite sad.

Another Season Passes

photo credit: Sandy Feet

There are still a bunch of people on SPI, although the massive droves appear to be gone until next year. It was a good year, aside from being dry. I guess a bunch of rain would have hurt the tourism industry, but we're ready for rain now.

It's my favorite time of year now, all the way until when the first cool northers blow in sometime at the end of October or early November. It's when us islanders start doing stuff, like that remodeling project or fixing the lawn (if it would rain, thank you). We're looking at a new back porch patio door, for example. I had to go to remedial school just to learn how to get the engineering and permitting in the works! Fortunately, I know the local engineer and the building permit dude, so all isn't that bad - just involves pushing some paper for Texas Windstorm and of course, paying more money than you originally thought.

On the news front, not much to report other than Dewey the city manager abruptly left office on Thursday morning, details not known and nobody is talking. The body surfing was good yesterday and we might hit the beach for another session today. Sure is nice on the beach now, honest.

Feeling "Music-y"

For some reason the media somewhere mentioned Woodstock and the glory days of rock 'n' roll and well here I am. In addition, Les Paul, guitar inventor and wizard, died today on the 13th. I could talk island scuttlebutt, county corruption, or why a SPI forum really sucks but naw, other things are on my mind: musica.

Lets try this for starters: 'Star Spangled Banner'

Oh yeah baby, get your ukuleles and kazoos in the "up" position and let's play along. Hey imagine doing this when they set the fireworks off? No problem if you hit a bum note, you got cover! That's really what us islanders are about, having fun.

But you have to admit that Leo Fender and Les Paul, the electric guitar gods, were pretty smart. See, the guitar strings were metal, and the guitar pickups were simply electromagnets powered by some electricity: if you changed the closeness and frequency of the metal strings to the magnet, you change the frequency of the electrical current. It is no coincidence that Leo Fender and Les Paul used to play with radios, since they new about frequency and amplitude issues. I'm still trying to figure it out!

For you acoustic players with no metal strings and a hollow body, your pickup is more like a small microphone, although most the good ones are piezoelectric. If you need a link for amping your D'Jambe or something, here ya go.

Well OK, you can get lost in the sauce on that link, moving right along. I really don't know much about this but I can say, SPI has a recording studio at Dave's and we have some talent you wouldn't believe, like the "digital mixer man" who lives here and has a shop over in Bayview, mastering folks like Joe Ely and stuff.

Let's play the good music and drown out these rats who complain all the time. Kumbaya ...

WTH, Let's Save Mohawk

According to Scarlett Colley, this is Mohawk, a baby dolphin who not only got a prop scar but ended up with some yellow fishing line all entwined into his skin. Hey some kids are like that. So we were out on Scarlett's boat and took this picture -- how cool is that? We got kinda bummed though, because if Mohawk isn't rescued, he or she will most certainly die. Anyway, Mohawk is called that because of a bad prop scar on his head. Or her's. Mama ain't talkin'.

So yeah what to do? Scarlett says getting the boat, equipment, people, and stuff is like a couple of thousand dollars. It is strictly regulated by the Feds and you need hired pros or something. Sounded steep to me too, but we'll see. We've raised money for sick musicians, an island museum, sea turtles, and all kinds of strange things and a couple grand wasn't all that hard. I know my wife is a heckuva fundraiser too when Samantha was a dancer in high school. For now, try this site for contact information - the SPI Nature Center website appears to have been hacked.

I wouldn't be spouting off on this if I hadn't seen Mohawk several times now, who seems to be spouting just fine right now in spite of prop and fishing line injuries. The fear is that that the fishing line will cut into the baby as it grows, literally slicing its fatty outer layer. Pretty gross but that's why we are so concerned. Please can you help?

More Island Scutlebutt

As the dog days of August roll in, with not a hint of tropical moisture except for some dew, thoughts shift to the more mundane - or at least mine do. I'm pretty oblivious to most of the island rumor mill, although from time to time I catch some of it.

The biggest one is "forms based code" instead of zoning, which appears to be a nice idea although it so politically charged it could explode. One innuendo is that some powerful islanders are trying to sneak it in the back door before us poor sleepy-heads can figure out what happened, and I shall not name names.

The seafood, music, redfish, beer and bait festival will he held sometime in September, not the November time slot like the last two years. We wish it goes well -- I'll be there for a day for sure. The rumor about that one is soooo outlandish and extreme you'll have to bribe me for the inside scoop.

Meanwhile, some residents of the "E" district on the bayside want to kick out everyone except for the residents themselves, thinking themselves far superior to anyone else. That's funny, I live a an old bungalow and think the few travelers we get here are cute, especially the girls who walk to the bay thinking it's the ocean. Of course I have to help these fine Americans find their way, right?

A bay dolphin named Mohawk was found with fishing line wrapped all around it, and I was on Scarlet Colley's boat when she shot film of it. A rescue is underway to save the poor fella.

I guess y'all know the oil washing up on the beach was soooo last week. That was interesting, as the media jumped all over that, not that it had any effect on the tourism. They never did find the source of the crude oil "plops," but there's absolutely no problems now and there is no oil on the beach. There is no jellyfish or seaweed on the beach either -- now that's a little unusual.

Sea turtle nestings are slightly down on SPI as compared to last year, although Jeff George says that turtles are cyclical, good, and not to worry. The nesting season is pretty much over although we could see a couple in August as we have in the past several years.

The Home Rule Commission I sit on only has one more meeting and then we're finis, done. Yay! Every property owner gets a copy and if you have can vote here, there'll be a vote on that and some amendments to the Texas Constitution -- not sure if anyone has any elections of interest.

It's still dry here and unless you sprinkle or have a sprinkler system, your vegetation looks like heck now. It's the driest I've seen it in years or maybe decades. They say Rockport to Austin is even worse, but we're suffering pretty bad. I may lose some plumerias, bummer. The water table is just too low. Even the land crabs have disappeared.

The possum, on the other hand, has reappeared. I saw two tonight. It's almost possum trapping season although not cool enough yet. This year I'm going to mark their back with a painted number to see how many come back from the end of the road!

The Camp Craft gals and thesbians are are up their usual and wily tricks and happiness, and there's no shortage of fun with these gals. Us poor men ... where's the glory and love?

So-and-so got divorced and looks like a million bucks, Rob's wife is having a baby, and Lucinda smiled about a new boyfriend from the old days, all good stuff.

Aside from trying to ID some jerk doofus on the SPI Forums, and coping with the summer weekend crowds, not much else report other than is was great to see my daughter for three weeks. Until the next update,
Sam

Psst ... Wanna Blow Up A Hi-Rise Condo?

Well that's what OTI on our little island was supposed to look like, although construction stopped last year because it started leaning, and was never completed. In fact, I nicknamed it the "Leaning Tower of Spizza." Word on the street is that a demolition contractor is checking out the building to blow it up. So being resourceful, us islanders wanted to have a raffle to pick somebody to hit the switch. Yes ladies and gentlemen, YOU could reduce that building to rubble in a few seconds ... just imagine your proud kid doing the honors!

Technically we're not blowing it up, but "imploding" it down in a nice pile so nothing next to it gets toasted. Lots of technical stuff if you're into dynamite and kersplosions (link here).

Aye, us Texans love a good blast, except the dogs that is. We were depressed when we found out that the Texas Clipper, a ship to be sunk for a reef 17 miles off our jetties, wasn't blown up. It turns out they should have listened to us, because the way they did it the Clipper sank on her side. Blow the darn thing up, man, and give us some thrills too.

So, what do ya think? We all know that there'll be a dummy switch and the Master Blaster will really set off all the timed charges, but heh-heh, YOU could bring down a hundred million dollar condo all by yourself as we watch from the South Flats.

Ozone Holes and Global What?

About a week or so somebody released study findings that the new kind if air conditioning gas was horribly warming the planet. The majors such as the Washington Post finally stumbled on it, maybe on some RSS feed. Link here.

Back a decade or two we outlawed conventional Freon, a has used for all kinds of air conditioning like your house and car - and many more uses such as making foam plastic to being the propellant in asthma medicine. That Freon was eating a hole in the ozone layer. Remember the ozone hole?

The replacement has an ominous name, HCFC, whch was patented by the same company who made Freon (hint, hint), the ozone hole nearly went away, and all was a remarkable success. However, it turns out the HCFC or whatever its called is between 1000 and 4000 times more potent than carbon dioxide as far as potential global warming. It could end up cooking us to death.

How fitting. I'll read the paper but I guess that these new-fangled air conditioning chemicals can last for 1 to 5 decades in the air for extra-lasting effect. Supposedly it's not Earth-shattering news, but isn't it amazing how we solve one problem and then another turns up as a result?

And in Breaking News ...

I think I just passed some gas.

My bad.

Economics Sucks

from The Economist

I'm not saying that all economics is stupid is as stupid does, but let's face it, the people running the major corporations and many aspects our government mislead us, lied, and couldn't predict the recession. Back in my college days, us engineers, pre-law, pre-med, and liberal arts students couldn't figure out why anyone would want to get a major in economics, much less why anyone would be foolish enough to actually pay for an MBA. As it turns out, many of these little economic wonks ended running key aspects of our country - and that we were right all along.

Now don't get me wrong, I know many accountants, auditors, and business leaders who are not only super bright but also some of my favorite friends. I'm talking about the people who brought us the Savings and Loan Crisis, the Dot-Com Crisis, and the Idiot Crisis of 2007-2009, which isn't even over yet.

And then we have government officials like Bernanke, another economics major, who really thinks we can fix the economy and employ more American by using the "manure spreader" method of stimulating the economy. In order to save money we need to ... spend more, of course, and go into debt for at least a generation! That's a liberal view expoused by what we call "Keynesians." Others want more of a freebooter system, I mean less regulation and more global trade, even though global trade is off by some 30 percent. Then you have financial institutions that laugh all the way to the bank, such as Sachs having their best querter in a long time and a need to compensate their fund managers more than ever.

Now tell me if you can make any sense of this mess. I am sure that economic theory is mostly a work of wishful thinking and fantasy. Indeed, economic powerhouses hired those in Game Theory and Options Modellers, statisticians and computer engineers, to explain how even non-rational behavior is rational, and doing so we can reduce risk, make the economy better, and make a ton of money in the process. It resulted in the worst international economic failure in 80 years - and we caused it, all of us together.

But here on our little island off the coast of America, things don't seem so bad. People come here in droves, I guess to escape the mainland and the crappy recession as well. We don't talk much about economics here on the island except for the budget, which is mainly a game for old economics majors who have taken to drink.

Not Much to Report is Good

In these days when we all seem to need something extremely daring, provocative, embarrassing, nasty, political, and full of intrigue - or at least some passing fad - it's nice to say I have absolutely nothing to report other than we're happy and doing well. Gosh, what would Paul Harvey say?

Perhaps it is simply the summer, when the media is starved for attention and everyone is saying "Who cares?" Even Governor Palin's decision to quit her job in Alaska was ho-hum. I could bore you with details of how my contracting business got slow again this summer, something I've noticed increasingly over the last several years. There again, I've managed to make even or slightly more than the previous year when filing taxes, so maybe I'd better chill out. Knock on wood I won't be working at Dirty Al's next month for minum wage plus tips. I wonder when the other shoe is going to drop.

Traveling? Hell no, I used to travel everywhere when I was younger, and have a huge wedding deal to save up for in Austin for my son Eric. If I go anywhere else it will be to the Bahamas this December. I mean, traveling sucks! Anybody who likes traveling for the sake of traveling is sicko. To me, it's hard work and often grueling. If somebody puts me on a cruise ship with a thousand other people, I think I would commit suicide. Too bad driving into Mexico with my truck is too dangerous, though.

But it's a very mild hurricane season, things are going OK, we don't have the cold air like in the Northeast, and it's not too dang hot by the beach. The town politics is its usual BS, so I won't report it, other than to say everything seems delayed. Michael Jackson is STILL dead, and Obama as President hasn't resulted in instant communism. It's a good feeling, not much of anything to say. Isn't it amazing how much there is to say about nothing? Shakespeare noted this in his best comedy, Midsummer Night's Dream.

It shall be called ‘Bottom’s Dream’, because it hath no bottom.

Happy 4th of July

Have a wonderful and safe Fourth of July.

You know, in July of 1776 things weren't going so well for the Revolutionaries. After a triumph in Boston, Great Britain's ships began to filter into the port of New York and gradually take over most of the state, with over 30,000 trained troops. General Washington got his butt kicked over to New Jersey and Pennsylvania, having half the men and no training at all. We lost the 'Battle of Long Island,' which was really a little town called Brooklyn. Not good.

Two years later, in 1778, the Revolutionaries had real cause to celebrate, after whupping the British in several major skirmishes like Trenton and Saratoga; a treaty was convened, and July 4, 1778 is when we started really celebrating July Fourth. It was a very happy time.

Problems on the Bayside Street Ends

I'm looking for some help here, as I'm deeply conflicted. Here's the issue: on some nights or even during the days, people camp out on the street ends, often leaving a nice pile of beer containers and trash, and sometimes partying quite loudly and smoking whacky tobaccy. These street ends, which number more than 20, are like mini-parks and several offer pretty good fishing as well. So we're trying to figure out how to control that, which keeping the public roadways public and improving on bay access (nice sunsets, too). The rowdy behavior happens mainly during the peak summer tourist days and the 4th of July should be a real corker if this beautiful weather keeps going.

We have all kinds of ordinances against parking in the street, noise, littering, drinking, loitering, peeing in public, and all kinds of nuisances and misdemeanors in addition to the state laws. But a group of concerned residents want more, such as to have curfews, no parking, no fishing, and more signs. Here's where they start to lose me - if we already have the enforcement tools, what good will putting up three signs do? You still need a cop or a code enforcement officer to make the patrols, do surveillance, and catch the perp. Frankly, I never saw a sign that was very effective, that is unless it says "Free food, free gasoline, free prizes."

So we have about three to five street ends that seem to have a problem, as well as some very irate residents. It certainly isn't all of the plus-20 street ends that have a problem, and our street ending doesn't. So you have some very vocal citizens who want something, anything to help them. So the question is how to address such a legitimate concern while not over-regulating the whole bayside of the island.

My initial thoughts are that there is a mightly temptation to write an ordinance and put up signs as a "feel good, law and order" kind of thing. Remember, we still have all the enforcement tools and that is exactly what it is - public land. "Public" means not just the property owners on that street, but anybody legally here in the United States. I also fear that some of the draconian rules could prevent me from enjoying my street end - what if I want to fish at night under a full moon? I just don't know, other than some people think such an ordinance would make their street safer, raise property values, and make the neighborhood more "friendly." (Do you see the irony there too? Friendly for kicking people off your street?)

Basically I think you're trying to run off anybody you don't like.

I realize that we don't have the Open Beaches Act for the bayside, which on the Gulf requires open access to the beach as if it was a state park. You can't discriminate against non-locals there. And I realize there is bayside one street in particular, named Campeche, that is the problem child that needs to be addressed -- it has the best shore fishing on the island. But obviously, I'm deeply conflicted abut how to proceed. Thanks for any thoughts.

Don't Let People Jack You Around

Here's a picture that I found that reminds me of all the evil people who try to bring you down and give you a hard time. It's a picture of "Saint Anthony having Doubts" by none other than Leonardo Michelangelo when he was only 13 years old. It reminds me of folks who routinely attack me on the forums. Perhaps you have your own negativity to deal with as well.

The only remedy is to laugh and smile, and all the harpies, gremlins and boogies will immediately vanish. Begone, you useless twits of my imagination! Hah-ha! Poof, they're gone...

Now We're Cookin'

Well we finally did some shopping so we have that mysterious stuff called food. We've been eating too much restaurant and junk food with Lori at work and then at school all evening. It feels good to look at the refrigerator now.

I'm way off my gardening this year because of the severe drought, so nothing is growing ... some tomatoes, onions, and herbs would have been nice. It's just too blasted hot, and the sandy soil just won't hold any water. In fact I put out the hose the other day to water some plumeria and the water just went straight down - I was wondering if I was inadvertently watering some place in China.

And that's a shame because I always had an herb garden up in Austin. The rosemary turned into giant bushes, and I learned that if you got a cilantro patch going, leaving some seeds to replant, you'd have cilantro all the time - and some rather strange caterpillars. Chives were a little bit more of a challenge, so I went to small, multiplying green onions just fine. Thyme, rosemary, dill, ginger, Oriental lemongrass. and others were a pleasure to snip with the scissors and just throw in the pot, in the pan, or onto the grill. Dried stuff from the supermarket just doesn't work as good, so maybe this fall it will get better for gardening.

I don't eat a lot in the summer but somehow, making a small amount with just the right herbs really does something. Even parsley, now that stuff is good for ya!

Tiki Summer Days

It's hard to believe that Memorial Day came and went, and now it's full summer, and hot enough to prove it. The island business and traffic seems to be jumping along quite well, steady so far. Anyway, this picture appealed to me, the old car, the bikini babe, and the Tiki - now that's summer for ya!

We're lucky so far, since although we need the rain the weather has been kind to us. There were a few good offshore fishing days right after the wind quit after memorial Day, but it's back up to 20 to 30 MPH and I couldn't hitch a ride on a boat - so surfing will have to do. Gosh I love all kinds of surfing, and the ocean breeze makes it feel cooler.

Ah, the Tiki. Not sure what it means than tacky bars with weird drinks like the Zombie, Mai Tai, Scorpion Bowl, and Navy Grog. Of course, the Wanna-Wanna has a similar three-rum drink with the similar two-drink limit - it'll make you "wanna" a little too much I guess. It's about the glaring sun, the shocking moonlight, the secret looks at cuties, the lazy, tacky, do-nothing days of summer. Let's go build a semi-pornographic sand castle, yippie!

The Barking Gull

Here's my new pet, a laughing gull. It comes every morning to finish off what the kitty cats don't eat. Malia the dog barks at the gull. The gull barks back at Malia. It's really quite something as they bob and weave, bark, shout obscenities at each other, and then laugh like fools.

Of course, "Barkie" has a sidekick, a nasty old grackle with even a fouler vocabulary. It imitates the cats, something I have never heard of before either. Sure, mockingbirds mock, but ... well these two aerial pirates are really something.

The Adult Wrong-Doing Index

We could end up with a generation of "lost kids" due to recent recessions, wars, poverty, bail-outs, and yes even global warming measures. I stole the term "adult wrong-doing index" from a NY Times article about child welfare, which has been tracked since 1975.

It's really the correct way of looking at it, since the kids can't control their destiny. The Bush years set back the index more than any other time since 1975. Child poverty is the worst in a developed nations except for Mexico! Unfortunately, President Obama has been handed a situation where he really can't solve the problem, as it would take years to fix it. The economy, wars, and education have to be fixed first. There is not a tenth of the amount of money to get a start on the job.

No, I'm not one of those "Chicken Little" or liberal types that thinks the country is going to hell in a hand basket, but the situation certainly is bad - and getting worse. I see that in my kids, who are now in their early 20s and barely surviving without parental hand-outs (we have our own family bail-out system, too). Having a college degree doesn't mean a thing, other than incurring large amounts of debt, since the jobs simply are not there - and adults are competing for the same, low-paying positions. But in hindsight we're going fairly well in comparison to families who don't have insurance, jobs, lost their house due to foreclosure, got divorced, or have kin in the military who were fragged by their experiences in Iraq or Afghanistan.

But why does the US have the highest teen pregnancy rate in the developed world, and increasing after years of significant declines? Why is teen violence and "wannabee gangsta" violence up? Why is autism and asthma so high among children today? Something is obviously wrong, and the kids are telling us that in the numbers. Folks, those folks are going to end up running our country ... just something to think about.

Update - sorry for the bummer post, but the more I read the worse it is. Social security will soon run out. California, the leader of the US having a larger economy than many developed nations, will soon go bankrupt - already, a MILLION kids have been taken off health insurance in California over the last year. Sitting here in my comfy island beach cottage, living large and grand, I can only contemplate how horrible things could get. But we don't care ... the road goes on forever and the party never ends. Helluva thought for Memorial Day.

No Mo' Dogs at Wanna-Wanna

Well shit. Bob the owner of the Wanna-Wanna pulled me aside today and said the Code Enforcement had issued orders that they would no longer allow any dogs. Violators could get a hefty fine, like $500. The reason was a dog that bit some kid down by Boomerang Billy's. It was a very small bite from what I heard, a mere nip. Several locals said the dog was a really nice mutt and the kid was harassing it. But the notice came and Bob told me in a nice way.

Well phooey, no late lunch there with my pup, no walks from those steps, no doggie bones that magically appeared from behind the bar, no buckets of water to slake the thirst, no puppy attention - and I guess no more money from me when my dog has the urge to go there. It was rather depressing.

This town is starting to have a major Sucking-Factor.

How Science Works

This is sorta funny - click on the picture to make it a little larger.

How To Fuck A Mast

The F-word has some rather unusual derivations over the years. It pretty much means what it means today. There are some interesting nautical and sailor-like derivations in the literature. One is the term fucksail, which was a foresail (like the jib sail) on a sailing ship, as translated from the Scottish. The Old Norse word fukja ended up as another salty word, windfucker. But the main, big mack daddy of linguistics was the more Germanic fricken, which meant "to strike, bonk, or copulate." Pretty much what you thought it was.

Now take the situation of a big old wooden mast on a big old wooden boat. The mast had to go right through the deck to the bottom of the boat. The mast was tipsey so they used all these ropes and lines to stay the mast. The last thing was to secure the deck or cabin around there the mast went through - or it would leak.

So using a bunch of wooden wedges and a large wooden hammer called a top-mall, you'd pound in the wedges. The wedge, the hammer, and the guy doing the pounding were known as fuckers, who actually were quite good at setting large masts. Indeed, one possible meaning of the F-word is "to wedge." Anyway, you had to shave the wedges right so they all matched up just so, and that's how you fucked a mast right.

As a final act of water-proofing and good seamanship, you had to securely wrap canvas around the wedges and paint it, a practice related to the word fucksail, which also meant a woman's skirt. Unfortunately, there is a connection.